Few things are as amusing to me as “studies” and “polls” about women and their sex lives. Especially when they make women sound like lazy, nagging, prudes.
The Telegraph reports that a new research compiled by the pharmaceutical company Bayer finds that women are having less sex because of technology.
Yes, apparently 28% women blame the Internet, iPhones and Blackberrys for not getting laid as often as they would like. To be fair, hand held devices and the ability to bring your work with you anywhere can definitely ruin the mood.
But unlike The Telegraph’s leading photo for this article, which features a woman pouting in bed because her male partner is playing around on his mobile, I’m pretty sure I know just as many women who check their Twitter updates from their pillow and can be heard clicking around on their Blackberrys at 1am when they could be shagging. It’s not just men who are to blame for this.
But aside from Tweetdeck getting in the way of foreplay, I’m afraid Bayer’s research just goes down hill from there.
For example, it says that one in ten women feel “inhibited” in the bedroom because they’re afraid of getting pregnant, and that one in five women say they “shun contraception”. Shun contraception? You're afraid of getting pregnant so, oh I don't know, USE A CONDOM! Maybe then you won’t feel so “inhibited” by those pregnancy fears.
But aside from being afraid of babies but unwilling to use condoms, we’re also lazy. Bayer points out that while 65% of women say our partners don’t “make enough effort” in bed, one in three women never initiate sex and “always let their partner make the first move”. What a bunch of lazy cows, eh?
However, the bit that tops it all off for me is the “information” that “one in ten women say it only takes a compliment to put them in the mood for sex”. Only takes a compliment huh?
Man: “Your hair looks nice today.”
Woman: “Really? Gosh. Thank you... Mmmmmmm...I really, gosh, I don’t know what’s come over me. I want you. I MUST HAVE YOU NOW. TAKE ME TAKE ME TAKE ME.”
Look out, men! Compliments are like Viagra for women! Say one nice thing and we’re like felines in heat. (Just be wary when complimenting a co-worker or female family member. God only knows what might happen.)
Bayer go on to say how unsexy women feel and how we wonder about when our sexual peak will be, and how apparently we peak in our thirties but we have more sex in our twenties and basically, women’s sex lives are, well, fucked.
We want more foreplay but we can’t be bothered to put our iPhones down. We want more effort but we’re too busy. We don’t feel sexy, and because our self esteem is so low, it merely takes a compliment for us to get all hot and bothered. Basically, good luck trying to figure us out, men, because boy, are we ever hard to please.
Bottom line, if we were to take anything away from The Telegraph’s article about Bayer’s research, it would be that both men and women need to make more effort in a sexual relationship. Don’t always let your partner initiate sex, and try to put down your iPhone every once and a while and choose sex over Twitter. Oh, and use a condom. Nothing kills the mood like the fear of pregnancy. Or, you know, gonorrhoea.
Image via Mick Licht's Flickr