Heidi and Spencer Pratt must be stopped.
They really, really, really just need to be locked away somewhere. Somewhere where there are no video cameras, no paparazzi, no tabloids...and where no one can hear them scream.
Yesterday, Speidi went on a media parade, telling everyone from The View, to The Today Show to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon about their hard times in the jungle, why Spencer was baptized by Stephen Baldwin, and why Heidi is the new "modern version" of Mother Theresa.
Whoopi Goldberg laid into them and told them that if they don't get their shit together, that they'll be "on the streets". Al Roker made Heidi cry by asking her if she was "proud" of her and her husband's behavior on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. ("Um...sure!")
And then Jimmy Fallon sat in a very awkward five minute interview with them while Spencer defended the fact that he smacked a water bottle out of someone's hand because they "defaced" Heidi's special bottle of dry shampoo.
I mean, just look at how upset she was about it...
I'm not even sure how to describe how horrific these two kids are. They don't take anything seriously, they're nasty, superficial, and throw around terms like "Jesus" and "Christianity" without truly understanding what they mean. I'm not religious or a Christian, but even I find it insulting that they call themselves followers of Jesus.
Using religion to make yourself not seem all that bad is just fucking gross. Sure they overreact and are superficial and are emotionally retarded and are awful to people...but they LOVE JESUS so it's OK! They're not really stupid, because, after all, Heidi really wants to be a "disciple of Jesus" and just like Mother Theresa. You know, a Mother Theresa with breast implants that would quit a TV show after a week despite being able to win money for charity.
After watching three TV appearances with them, I feel a little suicidal. They're depressing, horrific children who are married, like Sarah Palin and will bring a bottle of dry shampoo on stage with them to talk to Barbra Walters.
And the worst part is, is that it's not even an act. That is truly how they are.
Guaranteed, when the apocalypse comes, somehow The Pratts will be involved. Just you wait.