Dressing for work if you’re a man is pretty easy. You put some trousers on, and a shirt, and maybe a tie, and you’re good. But if you’re a lady it can be a lot harder, because lots of companies want to make money out of making you confused.
According to the awful people in Erin Gibson’s latest Modern Lady video for Infomania there’s a long list of rules to follow. These include not wearing leggings, miniskirts or flip-flops, and not looking too sexy.
The media love nothing more than a story that tacitly undermines a woman’s professional achievements or talents by focussing obsessively on what she’s wearing or what she looks like. Just look at the Hot Russian. She might be the best spy in the world, but I feel like I’ll never know. Every news report has failed to do much more than show me several pictures of her smouldering at the camera.
Aside from this, what’s really stuck in my mind after watching the video is the sheer horror of the Fox News excerpt. What is WRONG with that woman? Why is she talking like that? I don’t want to be alarmist but I’m 99% certain Fox News is staffed by flesh eating zombie robots.
The moral of this story (apart from the fact that we need to start building up an army to protect ourselves from the Foxbots) is that you really shouldn’t worry too much what you’re wearing, or what the rules tell you to do. The one rule I would advise following is don’t turn up in your pyjamas. It was the day after my birthday, I was hungover, I planned to get dressed in the loos but forgot. I had other stuff on my mind, you know? Like finding a Burger King and focussing on not falling asleep at the wheel.
I suppose that technically pyjamas might hold your career back, but otherwise, women must wear what they please and stop thinking their whole sense of achievement and satisfaction depends heavily on how good they look. I am happy for the naturally stylish amongst us to continue looking marvellous, but it really shouldn’t matter if you have other interests and other talents that mean clothes are functional, not a form of self expression or a crucial part of how you feel you relate to the world.
Image of Melanie Griffith from Working Girl, 1988