Lately I have been thinking about misogynist behaviour. And sexism. You know, just normal everyday thoughts that slot in neatly between choosing something to eat for dinner, and running spell check on your latest work report.
This train of thought was started by the ultimately strange and surprisingly man-hating article in The Guardian from Bidisha called "Casual Sexism is Nothing But Misogyny" which explained why anyone who uses gender specific language towards a woman is (and I quote) a “woman hater”.
The thing is, you see, that there is always a delicate line to tread with caring about the comments other people make. Practically you cannot go through life taking every casual and unintentional remark personally, but at the same time you don’t want to let people get away with disparaging or belittling comments, as that just allows the issue to carry on spreading. This is in the same way that early feminism was very extreme for the sake of drilling the situation home to people, but nowadays we are aiming for a subtler and more realistic balance between the sexes, not just a total reversal of gender roles.
So, what does this article say? A few choice quotes of mine address overwhelming generalities about the male population, which to me seem as bad as men who generalise about women. Take, for example, the quote “Any man who thinks it's OK to live in a household where the woman does the overwhelming majority of all the housework, childcare and family admin is a woman-hater”.
There is nothing like assuming one persons interpretation of the situation is the way everyone else must see it, or ignoring the fact that many equal partnerships involves a woman choosing to stay at home and take on that share of the partnership, or a man staying home whilst a woman works.
The rest of the article centers around the use of gender specific keywords used when insulting people. Calling a woman a slag, a bitch, saying that she looks like a tart. All of which are, undeniably, nasty things to say. However, as many of the commenters pointed out, what about calling a man a dick, a prat, a sod? How is this in any way different? I think the point was that “casual sexism” expressed in comments like “I have never so wanted to slap a girl as I did then” is purely based on gender. However, as one observer says, “the venom of the epithet is in the stupidity or general unworthiness of the subject. It's not always about gender, per se”.
I am torn. Part of me understands that insulting and sexist comments do exist, and we have all experienced them. Being called a slag just because you are a woman by some thug on the street is a prime example. However, we have to be careful not to see all comments as misogynistic, and we have to place them in context.
I now describe, for instance, both male and female associates as bitches, if they are, in fact, being bitches. Sure, gender keywords can be omitted if you really want to insult someone, but labelling anyone who dares to refer to women as a unit as a “woman hater” strikes me as narrow minded and dangerous.
Image via RosietheRiviter.org