While gallivanting around California last week, I indulged myself in a little trash and purchased a copy of People Magazine's Best & Worst Dressed issue. Now, while People is no where near as ridiculous as US Weekly or Look or Now or whatever the hell those 99cent magazines are called - it's still melts your brain a little.
My favorite little snippet from the latest issue was a story on Eva Longoria titled: "I'm Just Fat - Not Pregnant!" Eva apparently told the French show Le Grand Journal that she was "just fat" and not pregnant as blogs like Perez Hilton have been claiming. The pint-sized, highly-irritating actress was quick to add that she would just l-o-v-e to have kids and that she "can't wait" to get sperminated by her basketball playing husband.
The best part? Check out this little diddy:
"Longoria Parker still insists her 10-lb gain is a result of her story line and is unfazed that she and Gaby have gone from a size 00 to a 0. As (Mario) Lopez tells People, 'She's secure. This stuff doesn't bother her.'"
Oh, yes, folks. That would mean that Miss Eva "Fat Ass" Longoria thinks that fat is a size zero. But thank god she's "secure" enough to be able to deal with being a size zero. Thank. GOD.
People Magazine, despite throwing up the usual "flat-bellied vs NOW!!" photos of Eva, tossed in a little disclaimer in the form of a big, pink "reality check" that stated:
"The notion that even Longoria Paker would call herself "fat" is pretty ridiculous. At 5'2", she would need to weight over 136lbs before being considered overweight on the BMI index."
Did they hire a women's studies intern to do that for them?
Also, it's good to know that fat equals a 136lb, 5'2" woman.
"Eva's not fat...yet."