I was born and raised in California - a land where you have to pay for your own medical insurance and regularly have to pay ridiculous amounts of money for prescriptions and basic medical needs. While America isn't known for it's stellar health care system, I never had a problem getting quality medical care.
However, when I first called my doctor at Kaiser Permanente, I was told that even though I had full medical insurance, I would have to pay over $200 for just three months of birth control pills.
Oh. Hell. No.
So, I did what most kids from the suburbs do - head to your nearest Planned Parenthood.
There's clearly a snag in the system somewhere when all the teenagers from well-to-do areas are "slumming it" and going to the *poorer* ares of our city to visit a Planned Parenthood, where they'd say they were either:
A) Too embarrassed to tell their parents that they were having sex and needed contraception or a PAP Smear
B) Didn't have health insurance
C) Omg please don't call my mom!
D) all of the above
In most cases, it was A and C - which is sad, really.
However, even if we did have health insurance and were just to embarrassed to tell our parents, at least we could go down to Planned Parenthood and have a PAP smear/test done. Plus, if I remember correctly, unless you can prove that you've had a PAP test done within the last year - they won't give you the goods.
You know, because testing for cervical cancer and HPV and STDs is important. On the official Planned Parenthood website they explain:
Leading women's health authorities suggest that routine Pap testing
begin at age 21 or three years after first vaginal intercourse.
Women should have a Pap test every year until they are 30. From age
30 on, Pap tests can happen every two or three years. Your health care
provider can tell you how often to have them.
Women should continue to have Pap tests until age 70 — or sometimes later.
I had my first PAP when I was 18, when I became sexually active. I had one every year until after that - until I moved to the UK.
As soon as I could, I registered with the NHS and chose a general practitioner, a GP, close to my house.
Because my GP doesn't believe that birth control pills are just a regular prescription (and also thinks that I'm FAT!), they make me go to a family clinic that's only held every Tuesday evening from 7 - 8 at night to take care of all my promiscuous medical needs.
Even for a repeat prescription.
So, upon my first visit I tell them that I really need to have a Smear done (that's what they call it over here) and I was swiftly told that I don't need one until I'm 25.
Uh...what?
According to the NHS, you're not eligible for a cervical screening test until you're fucking 25-years-old. Never mind that plenty of women will have been screwing for almost a decade by then. Never mind that, like Jade Goody, you can clearly get cervical cancer before 30. The NHS say,
All women between the ages of 25 and 64 are eligible for a free
cervical screening test every three to five years...The NHS Cervical Screening
Programme now offers screening at different intervals depending on age.
This means that women are provided with a more targeted and effective
screening programme.
And why is this? Oh. Because getting cancer in your 20s is rare.
Cervical cancer is rare in women under 20. Teenagers' bodies,
particularly the cervix, are still developing, which means young women
may get an abnormal result when there is nothing wrong. This could lead
to unnecessary treatment so screening young women might do more harm
than good.
Yeah, I mean. It's rare! Why bother! And HPV, you know that thing that can cause cervical cancer - bah. You probably won't get that, either!
I just feel comforted knowing that in the UK, you can only get cancer from the ages of 25 to 64. Good to know. I can't wait until I'm 64 and will apparently be safe from ever getting cancer.
Who, pray tell, are the morons behind this belief? Why is it that a 16-year-old or a 70-year-old can go get a cervical screening test done in the States - but over here, if you're a day under 25 or a day past 64 you are not "eligible" for cancer?
Hate to break it to you NHS, but CANCER doesn't CARE if you're "ELIGIBLE" or not! HPV doesn't go, "Oh hey, wait. They're only 23. I can't infect them. They're not ELIGIBLE."
Are the NHS afraid they're going to waste their precious time and money by scanning all those 21 and 18-year-olds for cancer, only to have them be cancer free? Yeah, what a waste of time. Precautions aren't worth the money.
Gee, in that case, I guess even though my aunt is a breast cancer survivor, I think I'll just wait until I'm 50 to get that free breast cancer screening:
The NHS Breast Screening Programme provides free breast screening
every three years for all women in the UK aged 50 and over. Around
one-and-a-half million women are screened in the UK each year. Women
aged between 50 and 70 are now routinely invited.
Because the programme is a rolling one which invites women from GP
practices in turn, not every woman will receive an invitation as soon
as she is 50. But she will receive her first invitation before her 53rd
birthday.Once women reach the upper age limit for routine invitations
for breast screening, they are encouraged to make their own appointment.
My aunt was in her early 40s when she was diagnosed. Christina Applegate? 36-years-old. Kylie Minogue? A month away from her 37th birthday.
Why aren't women under 50 "invited" to be screened for breast cancer?
Women under 50 are not offered routine screening. This is because
mammograms are not as effective in pre-menopausal women. The density
of the breast tissue makes it more difficult to detect problems, and
also because the incidence of breast cancer is lower in this age group.
And if I'm worried that I may have breast cancer before I'm 50? You know, because it runs in my family?
Women can ask their GP to refer them to a hospital breast clinic if
they are concerned about a specific breast problem or otherwise worried
about the risk of breast cancer.
I seriously feel like I'm going to pass out.
My doctor in the US said I should start having breast screenings at 35 because of my family history. THIRTY. FIVE.
Once again, Planned Parenthood and the American Cancer Society have different age recommendations:
The American Cancer Society recommends that women get a mammogram
every year starting at the age of 40. Yearly mammograms can continue
for as long as you are in good health.
In some cases, mammograms are helpful for women younger than 40. A mammogram may be recommended for a younger woman with
- a family history of early breast cancer
- non-cancerous breast lumps — to make sure cancer is not hidden among harmless cysts
I am not here to bash the UK. Scotland and Wales invite women to start having smears done as young as 20, which is brilliant.
However, I am absolutely appalled and disgusted with the NHS and their approach to cancer and women's health.
Bupa here I come...
(If only I could afford you...)
"Too young" for a smear test - The Metro