Here in America we don’t always like to practice what we preach, especially when what we preach benefits everyone. Because if everyone were to benefit from something we’d all just become a bunch of tree-hugging, pot-smoking socialists, and everyone knows socialists are the new communists.
And as they teach us in our history classes, communists are really just demons in meat suits waiting to suck our eternal souls into jars they use to make the moonshine they swill in a vain attempt to feel even a hint warmth in their cold, black hearts.
One of the most practical ways we can keep the communists terrorists socialists from winning is, obviously, to deny homosexuals the right to marry. Another fun way is to teach our children the blind faith in the unstoppable power and awesomeness of our country by having them recite our Pledge of Allegiance in school every morning.
Imagine entire classrooms full of supple young minds chanting hollow words in unison as the flag flaps gently in the breeze generated by their young, malleable hearts. Take that forces of darkness socialism!
But one (awesome) young boy has a problem with that. 10 year-old Will Phillips has refused to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance since October 5. The Arkansas fifth-grader took the time to actually analyze the words of the pledge (in and of itself a win for the youth of America) and realized that our declaration of “liberty and justice for all” was decidedly less than true, what with all the racism and sexism we’re still addressing and the injustice of gays and lesbians not being at liberty to marry.
So, despite censure from his teacher and taunting from his classmates, Will refuses to participate in the pledge until gays and lesbians have the right to marry.
Take that forces of darkness anti-gay legislation!
Image via Uhuru1701